Isaiah 38 is one of the very first scriptures that God has given me throughout my infertility journey! I had never heard of this story in the Bible before, and what a perfect day it was to be introduced to it, because on that particular day I was desperately seeking and crying out to God! I then opened the Bible to Isaiah 38.
In summary, it is about a man named Hezekiah who was mortally ill. The prophet Isaiah told him to prepare his house, because he was going to die! Hezekiah turned to God and prayed to the Lord crying out, "Ah, Lord, remember how faithfully and wholeheartedly I conducted myself in your presence, doing what is good in your sight!" And then he wept. God then replied saying that He heard his prayer and seen his tears and added 15 more years to his life! As a sign from the Lord that his prayers were answered, God set the sun back ten days!
This scripture spoke to me in such a HUGE and SIGNIFICANT way!! Here I was, newly diagnosed with Premature Ovarian Failure and four months into my marriage that I had saved myself for. I felt totally abandoned by my Lord and Savior who I stood for for my entire life!! I believe I have always had a very intimate relationship with God since a very young age. I have always been BOLD in my faith, and have learned wisdom and knowledge as my relationship with my Savior grew! After getting married, I was ready to have as many little blessing as I could that would go out and proclaim the word of God as I so fearlessly did growing up! But there I was, feeling totally confused, abandoned, and lost. A combination of feelings I have never truly felt before! I was so desperately seeking God, that I couldn't hear or see Him anymore! I felt so blind. I felt the foundation of my entire faith and everything I have ever know completely shatter! Therefore, this is where my TRUST in the Lord truly started to take place and grow. It has, without a doubt, been the hardest testament of my faith, but has also been so rewarding.
Although, I am not where I was, my cry then, and my cry today is; "LORD, remember me!! Remember my faithfulness to you, remember my stand and my Unshaken faith that I have had and will continue to pursue!! I LOVE you God with all of my heart, mind, soul and strength!! Turn back the sun, rejuvenate my ovaries and eggs to the 25 year old organs that they should be Lord!! Give me back time! The time that I lost and never had!! Thank you God! I TRUST IN YOU!!"
I also want to extend my hands out to all of you who are struggling with infertility. That God would hear the cries of your hearts! That He would turn back the time, and restore everything that the enemy has stolen from you. Lord God, place a Quiver Full into their wombs and heal all hurt and pain in Jesus Name Amen!!