Today is April 23, 2018! Day Two of National Infertility Awareness Week! Women and men all over the world are sharing their stories, struggles, emotions, journeys, trials and victories that have come with the title “Infertile”. If you belong to this community, you have been grafted into the “1 in 8!” The #infertilitycommunity has such a mothering presence who immediately welcomes everyone feeling and dealing with the weight of infertility and all that comes with it.
I remember the overwhelming love, support and understanding that I received from this community when I first started sharing about my diagnosis of Premature Ovarian Failure and the heartache and triumphs that have followed along since! I felt so validated and so heard! I absolutely loved being able to share my faith and the work that God was doing within! As my relationship with God deepened through my dependence on Him throughout my journey, I knew that there was something more to this whole “barren” thing than just one day receiving God’s promises and prayed-for miracles!
As a couple of years passed by and as God continuously prompted my heart to share small victories and struggles, He slowly placed a new “Identity” on my heart. An identity that has been indelibly marked on my soul since my baptism, and since I welcomed Him into my life as my Lord and Savior.
It was at the end of last summer when my treatments were coming to an end. We were so thankful and grateful for NaProTechnology and all doctors involved with my treatment and care, but I knew it was time to fully and completely immerse into the depth of my Heavenly Father and solely rely on Him and His Word! His promises are YES and AMEN! I knew that I had to completely let go of the title “Infertile” and to totally grasp onto my true Identity in Christ alone!
It has been the MOST pivotal moment throughout my entire infertility journey!! However, it has been the one moment where it has absolutely nothing to do with barrenness at all!
Today, God spoke and revealed to my heart that even though the world and infertility identifies us as the “1 in 8”, HE identifies each of us as HIS “1 in 99”! The one who our Shepherd will go out and rescue! The one that is worth saving no matter what we have done nor what we are going through!! Once we are found in Him, we are made whole! Therefore, it doesn’t matter WHAT our diagnosis may be! We now see through the eyes of our Father and know that He is the Great Physician only receiving His Report!!
So if you find yourself in a place today where even after all of the testing, poking and treatments, you are still searching for answers, hope and healing, join in prayer with me for our total surrender and trust in our Savior:
“Lord God, I’m seeking You! I don’t know why I am in this desert place. I want to enter into all that You are and surrender every worry, diagnosis, pain, suffering, lie from the enemy, control, spoken word curse, hurt and negative feeling to You, and I place it at the foot of the Cross! I want to dive into Your Holy and Healing Presence! I want You to overtake me! I come out of agreement with infertility and into agreement with Your Perfect Will over my life! Forgive me for all of my faults and sins! I want to be made whole!! In Jesus name amen!!”
12 What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? 13 And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 14 In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish. Matthew 18:12-14